Going Forward

To live in the moment is a gift. I have yet to obtain that gift, but, oh, how I'd love to have it. Someone who felt as I do once said, "Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory." Well, I want so badly to realize the valuable moments NOW.

Yesterday I received a photo book in the mail of my Baby E's hospital and newborn pictures. It is beautiful and I loved flipping through the pages over and over. I pulled out my Big Boy G's photo book from his birth and was enjoying tearing up to all the fun photos, when I came across a pic of G cuddled up in my arms (a full body shot). It's definitely not a glamorous shot of me, but I looked beautifully happy holding my newborn baby. At the time the picture was taken I felt like the most disgusting, overweight Megan possible. But when I looked at that photo yesterday I ached to be back in that moment: smiling wearily, happy as could be to have my handsome son, and, not to mention, 20 lbs lighter than I am now. I wish I could go back and appreciate the fabulous moments that I let slip by. One day I will look back at myself today and wish I could be here once again.

So what am I going to do? I am going to leave this buzzing computer screen, give my boys a kiss, and with that same weary smile on my face, LIVE today, because it will only be a memory tomorrow.

Oh, and, Bethany, as for the Addiction Recover Program I would love to do it!  I definitely need to do it. What do I do first?