An Experience

It is so easy to get down on yourself, especially when progress toward a goal is glacially slow and so very, very visible.

Last week I had an experience that gave me a boost.  I went to get my hair colored and deep conditioned.  My colorist and I talked about world travel, the education system, advanced math and literature.  Then she left.  As I sat in the chair letting the color sit, I listened to the conversations around me.  I heard gossip, plans for lying and emotional manipulation, poor grammar, group planning of hurtful texts and a whole lot of empty headed nothingness.  (Not that there is anything wrong with a little mental fluff of the happy and kind variety.  We all need that from time to time.)

No, the point is that despite feeling disappointed about the image staring back at me from the mirror I started feeling quite good about the person on the inside.  I felt smart.  I felt honest.  I felt classy.  I felt considerate.

There is everything right with wanting to look better and progress toward a goal.  But I must fight the tendency to let that localized dissatisfaction become general poor self image.

I'm a pretty decent gal.  I deserve to feel like one.

slow, but in the right direction

I have lost four of those six pesky Thanksgiving pounds.  Yeah!

The Plan

It's Christmas time! ! ! !

I love this holiday.  There is so much to enjoy, and that includes food.  To combat my tendency toward excess I have a plan.  I am going to make a list of the treats I really, really want to make and/or enjoy with my family and then limit myself to those treats.  That way, I don't indulge on Hershey Kisses or all the other fluff that is good, but not great.

So the goodie list is:

Share a chocolate orange with my family after reading the story about the Christmas Oranges.

Make peppermint marshmallows and enjoy in some hot cocoa.

Have a dish of peppermint ice cream with hot fudge sauce.

Make cinnamon rolls with the kids.

And, if during the season there is something unexpected and fabulous that I want to enjoy then I am leaving myself one fabulous pass for Oregon and one for celebrating with my family.

I look at that list and that is a lot of yumminess, but honestly it's a lot less than I would usually eat.

So there's the plan.

I am interested to see how it works.

Happy Holidays!

Mr. Incredible

Picture it:
5:20 am
I am sitting in a chair.  One child is curled up on my shoulder, her sodden diaper soaking through my pajama pants.  I am feeding the other one.  I haven't slept more than two hours consecutively.  There is no way on this rolling blue planet that I am going to exercise.

The first two times I exercised two days in a row I got the flu.  The third time my children did.  Being either insane or determined I exercised two days in a row again and my baby started waking up 4-5 times a night.  His growing is interfering with my shrinking.

Lately I feel like Mr. Incredible in the scene where he is trying to leave Syndrome's computer room.  Giant machines start shooting heavy, sticky balls that glom onto anything they touch.  Despite super-human efforts, Mr. Incredible goes down.

How do you combat the glom-ball effect?

I don't know.

Sometimes, just showing up for another day of mommyhood takes all I have.

Thank heavens for desire.

I know what I want.  Maybe, some days, just wanting it is all I can do toward achieving the goal.  But if I keep that desire alive my window of opportunity will come.

Here's to future windows.

On we go

Megan Francine Aurelia Biddle!  (no cyber stalkers that is not her real name)  Welcome back.

You gained 5 lbs. over Thanksgiving?  Guess what sister, I gained 6.  I knew I was doing this blog with a kindred spirit.

I have missed you.  I need you.  You are fabulous and way funnier than I am so you are never allowed to go AWOL again.  Okay, you can have a pass for comas and escaped hamsters.

Amen to the whole hating the maternity pant thing.

On the plus side, in the last month I have had some major victories.

I started attending a pseudo-weight-watchers group in my neighborhood.  We weigh in, share victories, eat a healthyish treat and set goals.  Just having access to an accurate scale is a blessing.  My scale at home changes five pounds if I rock from my heels to my toes.

We have a sister-in-law who has had great success with livestrong.com.  I have avoided calorie counting for years.  It drives me nuts.  But that six pounds made me crazy (crazy trumps nuts) and I created a Livestrong account and I have tracked for six days in a row - a lifetime record.  In my brain I hear a stadium sized crowd leaping to its feet and cheering.

And I did something last Saturday that I have wanted to do forever.  I made a meal plan for three meals and two snacks for every day of the week - made my grocery list from my plan- and then shopped from my list.

Woo Hoo!  Even standing on my heels on my scale I can tell that I am making inroads into that superfluous six.

I WILL wear real pants again one day.  I just know it.

~Bethany Feronia Adelaid Boynton

(did you notice?  the last three initials spell FAB - as in fabulous)

Dear Holidays, Why do you have to be so dangerous?!

This time of year of fantastic in so many ways--Christmas music, delicious spiced smells, parties, shopping--and yet so awful from the perspective of looking down at the scale. I thought I did considerably well after the Thanksgiving week and I felt pretty great! But come Cyber Monday morning I find myself 5 lbs heavier.  FIVE POUNDS!!! I can't tell you the wretched feeling that came over me seeing that number--the number I saw when I went into the hospital to deliver my oldest son!!! Who is this monster that has eaten the real Megan?!

It's been two weeks since then and I still feel rotten. I know this is a joyous time of year, but, c'mon, how can I find joy when even my maternity clothes don't fit well? Oh how I would love to slip into a pair of non-maternity jeans that hug me in all the RIGHT places:)

I apologize for not writing for over a month now. I obviously have been a bit down on myself. We're going through some major life changes with my sweethart graduating soon and beginning a new job. This means that money, my clothing, and my schedule are pretty tight right now. I constantly tell myself, "Everything would be better if. . ." But the truth is if I don't change my habits under the difficult circumstances then I will hardly be able to change them when life becomes even more difficult. And from my experience, life doesn't get simpler--only more complicated. Changing unhealthy habits during the holidays is possible. It may not be fun, but then again is gorging yourself on candy and treats til you're completely sick really FUN? I think not. Pulling up those non-maternity jeans (or even attempting some sexy lingerie) would be FUN.

Merry Holidays everyone.